Did you ever want to just say something, knowing its wrong. Knowing full well that if you said it, it would only cause pain and torment.

So you let it fester, you let it grow poisonous within you. Letting it become more painful as you seek for a means of escape, or a way of ignoring it.

And when you do say/hint at it. No one cares and no one says anything to you about how you feel in order to comfort you.

And your mind begins to quiver with thoughts of pain and betrayal. And you wish to put pen to paper and simply say everything bluntly.

To tell how you feel, to say exactly what's wrong.But your too afraid to say anything in such a way. So that your heart is torn in two different ways.

One wishing for an end to the pain and the other in fear of what would become of you if you spoke about how you feel about things.

Such is my life and its effect upon my writings and my thoughts. Afraid to go one way, afraid to go the other. Constantly in pain and afraid to move.

Wishing to speak but stricken with silence. Praying for death, for an escape, reaching out to the answer but pulling your hand back at the moment you feel you can reach it.

Tossed adrift in to the open sea.

Alone...
Never understood..
Wishing to be close to someone...
Knowing the impossibility..
Desiring for the morning to put an end to the night...

Hoping for understanding.. and fearing being understood.